Something To Make You Smile

Fulltimer · **Posted:** Mon Aug 11, 2008 3:07 pm

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?'
She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

dog_party · **Posted:** Mon Aug 11, 2008 3:13 pm

Nice!

I like the one about arguing with an idiot! Crack up!

bugnout · **Posted:** Mon Aug 11, 2008 3:58 pm

Fulltimer wrote:

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

So true So true

Khaki-KJ · **Posted:** Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:07 pm

Thanks, I needed that this afternoon. :lol:

Albert · **Posted:** Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:31 pm

Funny.........

And I never thought of it before but I think sometimes we would be better off on the "Miss America" vote if the "runner up" got to be president.......wow, and 50 to choose from too..haha

Fulltimer · **Posted:** Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:48 pm

Albert wrote:

Funny.........

And I never thought of it before but I think sometimes we would be better off on the "Miss America" vote if the "runner up" got to be president.......wow, and 50 to choose from too..haha

AND..............no political lies from BOTH parties!

Terry

CrossBones · **Posted:** Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:47 pm

Fulltimer wrote:

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?'
She hit me.

Something I might do in a bar. :wink:

KJ 119 · **Posted:** Fri Sep 16, 2011 7:26 pm

Good stuff to lighten the air up a bit around here. :wink:

Thanks for the post Full.

This was my favorite.

Fulltimer wrote:

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'

Something To Make You Smile

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