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| And then the fight started... http://www.lostjeeps.com/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=40271 |
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| Author: | this is spam [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | And then the fight started... |
> And then the fight started... > _____________________________________________________ > > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming > anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 > to 150 in about 3 seconds.' > I bought her a scale. > > > > And then the fight started... > _____________________________________________________ > > When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her > someplace expensive... so, I took her to ; a gas station. > > And then the fight started... > ____________________________________________________ > > After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply > for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for > my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and > realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very > sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. > The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt > revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on > your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social > Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my > experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have > dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.' > And then the fight started... > ________________________________________________________________ > > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school > reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her > drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know > her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took > to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I > hear she hasn't be e n sober since.' > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on > celebrating that long?' > And then the fight started... > __________________________________________________________ > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, > took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, > please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" Nah, she can > order for herself." > And then the fight started... > _______________________________________________________ > ______ > > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. > She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, > 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. > I really need you to pay me a compliment.' > The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.' > And then the fight started..... > ____________________________________________________ > > I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for > $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. > I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the > cold cream. > And then the fight started.... > _______________________________________________________ > > My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I > told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday > and then the fight started..... > __________________________________________________________ > > A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. > Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from > outside. > The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at > the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' > So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out > the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a > thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. > A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and > screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled > back, 'Yeah , then why were you running?' > And then the fight started..... > ____________________________________________________________ > Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, > grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the > boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential > downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, > turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all > day. > I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back > into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different > anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is > terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my > stupid husband is out fishing in that?' > And then the fight started ..... > _______________________________________________________ > I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" > It warmed my hear t to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. > "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. > So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" > And that's when the fight started.... > ________________________________________________________ > > My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while > we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have > sex?" "No," she answered. > I then said, "Is that your final answer?" > She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." > So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." > And that's when the fight started |
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| Author: | jeepmedic46 [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
LOL
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| Author: | Diggerfreek [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
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