As I read your discription the second part sounds like it's Standard Operating Procedure for the upgraded "Select track" transfer case that is on at least all North American CRD's.
We have a "Full time" setting where the "Command Track" does not have a FT 4wd setting.
Our shift lever is not directly coupled to the shift fork. Our shift lever pushes on a spring and when all is right with the world and all the stars and planets are aligned the spring pushes the shift fork into position
Even with the exact same tires on all 4 wheels inflated properly some outside procedure is needed.
I have 2 jeeps with this transfer case and what works for me is to pause in part time 4wd when going into or out of full time 4wd. also read the manual on the proper way to do it.
For instance if you are sitting still and have the transfer case in neutral then put the transmission case in any gear when you'll get lots of grinding noise when you try moving the transfer case lever
