I've never had a no-start problem with either of my Jeeps, but this morning I finally got one! Jumped in as I usually do to go to work and cranked the key to the on position to let the lift pump run for a second then turned it over and got a repeated clicking sound and all of the lights on the dash started to flicker in time. It was like a relay cutting power to the dash and key at the same time. It didn't even attempt to crank the motor. I turned the key back to the off position to try again and everything went black. I turned the key to try to start it again and got the same behavior. It will either sit there and click repeatedly with no start, or literally do NOTHING with all the lights on. For reference, the SKIM light remains on during all of this, but so do the air bag and brake lights, as well as the check engine light (my MAP is unplugged
). Finally, to really make things fun, the rear door will randomly start locking repeatedly as if someone keeps hitting the lock switch. Neither key is accidentally being pressed and this locking seems to coincide with the "blinking" of the dash lights when trying to crank the engine, though they do not happen at the same time since the key is off when the door lock thing occurs. I tried connecting a backup battery charger to get it to crank with no luck. When I disconnected it, I could hear almost a "bubbling" sound coming from the battery (very faint) that ALSO seems to be following the same cadence as everything else.
Is this a shorted battery? What am I dealing with here? My plan is to use my wifes car to swing by Costco after work and grab a new battery. Am I barking up the wrong tree? I've never dealt with anything like this before. Thanks!