As you report, pre-garrett-failure:, your performance was acceptable
Post Turbo Replacement: performance not acceptable in many ways.
I'd say this limits the problem pretty well. Nothing surrounding the turbo, from vacuum, oil supply, blow-by, or anything else has presumably changed.
Your ultimate solution is to send your Garrett to Diesel_guy86 (Blackbird Industries?) for his rebuild/mods, (or , more ultimately , exchange for his full ceramic roller product he's recently completed)
As far as the Dieselsite turbo goes, mine was a little like that for the first 5000miles or so. I don't know for sure why, but I wrote it off to minor changes to the vane control rod, and time for the turbo bushings to "break in" or loosen up. Again, I don't know if it's even a thing, but it's how mine acted. My chats with Joe indicated it may be related to the WickedWheel that Dieselsite uses
As far as oil coming into the charge-air system, I have had that all along, but like you, there were no changes to my short-block.
As far as tearing the short-block down, unless you have rear main bearing leakage, I'd recommend leaving it alone. The factory system to deal with this is still working as before, and if the oil is a bothersome issue, There is always the
https://shop.sasquatchparts.com/products/mann-provent-200-3931070550/ which is available as the original product and plumbed in the way we have done in the past, or there is the newly available custom install kits to lighten your wallet and simplify your experience.
https://shop.sasquatchparts.com/products/bundle-sasquatchparts-provent-kit-mann-provent-200-oil-separator-jeep-liberty-28l-crd/ Much MUCH cheaper than tearing your shortblock out and refreshing it in ANY way.
As far as Glowshift, I think WWDiesel may use some of this gear.
I have never had a failed, faulty, or inaccurate AutoMeter gauge , so I've never used anything else. Sorry for my inexperience in that. I know there are cheaper options, but I've stayed with AutoMeter.
Good luck Gypsy, whatever you choose.