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"Rubber-dee-dub" thats the "pub" (Pub - short for "Public Bar" in a Hotel)
"One armed Bandit" thats a "Poker machine" ( Slot machine ) because they just take your money
"Frog and Toad" thats the "Road"
My "Sky Rocket", thats your "pocket"
"Aurther Ash" thats "Cash" - IE Money
"Chuck a nana" thats a Tantrum
"Shagging" thats having sex
"Bum nuts" - Eggs
"Too Right" - something that is "correct"
"Largey" is a Tall bottle of beer
"Cheese and Kisses" thats your Missus - Wife
"Ear bashing" thats someone talking at you too much
"Tin Lids" thats your Kids - Children
"Galah" thats someone who is "Behaving Badly" - ( Galah's are a kind of native Australian bird that make a lot of Noise)
"Dog's Breakfast" thats a Mess
"Shoot through" thats "To leave"
"Bugger off" thats "To leave" as well
"Dunny" thats the Toilet (Bathroom)
"Gregory Peck" thats your "Neck"
"Dog and Bone" thats the "phone"
"Fair Suck of the sav" thats "To give someone an even chance"
"Wouldn't have a bar of it" thats someone not believing you
"Idiot Box" thats the "Television"
"Quicker than a Bluearsed Fly" that "Very Fast"
"Ooroo" thats "Goodbye"
"Captain Cook" (the Engish Gent who Found Australia) thats a "Look"
"White Pointers" thats Topless Girls Sunbaking on the Beach
"Elbow Grease" thats "Working Hard"
"Full as a Boot" thats "Drunk"
"I could eat a Horse, and chase the Jockey" thats "very very Hungry"
"Mystery Bag" thats a "Meat Pie" ( you never know just what kind of meat the cook has put in it)
"Hollow Legs" thats some one that can "eat a huge amount"
"Drop your guts" - to Fart
"Flash as a Rat with a Gold Tooth" thats somebody who is "Dressed and Groomed well"
"Talking the ear off" someone who won't stop talking
"Sheila" thats a "Girl"
"Dry as a dead Dingo's Donger" ..... Right, a Dingo is a native wild Australian Dog, a "Donger" well.....thats a penis oh and it means "VERY Thirsty"
"Shout" thats to buy someone a drink at the Pub
"Wouldn't Shout if a Shark bit him" someone who never buys you a beer at the Pub
"Tides gone out" thats something you say to a person who stops pouring drink into your glass a long way from the top of the glass
"Plates of Meat" thats your "Feet"
"Long drink of water" thats someone who's really tall
"Wombat" somebody that is "Not very Smart"
"Scone" thats your "Head" ( not a little cake, remember this is Slang )
"Better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick" thats to say " well it's not my first choice , but, that will be OK"
"Pull your Head in" thats to "Mind your own business"
"Pigs Arse" thats slang for "I believe you are incorrect"
"Town Bike" term given to a woman who sleeps around ( IE Town Bike - everybody's riden her)
"Ridgey Didge" that' "True or Genuine"
"Spud" thats a nick name given to anyone who's last name is "Murphy" ....A "Spud" is a "Potato" and they are traditionally thought of as Irish, and "Murphy" is a traditional Good Irish last name......Sooo
The other day I was at home getting an Ear bashing from the Cheese and Kisses about the Tin Lids because they were acting like a bunch of Galah's and had made a Dogs breakfast in the Dunny. "Fair suck of the sav" I said, I've just got off the dog and bone and now I want to have a Captain Cook at this news report on the idiot box about a few white pointers that were arrested down the beach today. That was it she chucked a nana and started throwing Bum Nuts at me, Crikey!! that last one got me right in the Gregory Peck. That was it, I was off down the Frog and Toad on my Pat Malone to the rubber-dee-dub quicker than a bluearsed fly. I checked in my sky rocket for some Aurther Ash, but, I had forgotten my wallet, so I almost had to shoot through, then I spotted my old mate Spud, he was a long drink of water, and he was standing there on crutches. "Whats wrong with your plates of meat?" I asked to Spud, He said he had picked up the town bike the other night and whilst they were shagging her hubby walked in on them and he had to jump out the window and bugger off with out his shoes.
"Ridgey Didge?" I asked. "Too Right" said Spud. "Pigs Arse" said Bruce, "Pull your head Mate! I yelled or I'll Punch you in the scone. "You look as dry as a dead dingo's donger, I think it's Bruce's shout". "Bruce's shout!" I exclaimed "He wouldn't shout if a shark bit him". Just then Bruce turned around with a cold largey, and Spud and I lifted our glasses for a beer. "What!!!!....Is the tide out?" Spud said as Bruce turned and left. Well it's better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick" I replied "Geez, He's a wombat, but I admit he's as flash as a rat with a gold tooth, and he got hollow leg's".
About an hour later I was full as a boot, "I could eat a Horse, and chase the Jockey" I slurred at Spud, "buy us a mystery bag would you?", But Spud was talking the ear off some shiela at the bar. So I said Ooroo, dropped my guts, and headed off to play the one armed bandits...
_________________
SOME SAY
I'm Toight... Toight lik a Toiger.
And
When I go to the Toilet, Chuck Norris is there to tear the squares off for me.
"Pass me another one Chuck, and keep em coming!! On sencond thoughts..Go get the hose"
Last edited by cmohr on Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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hope that wasn't over the top...
