Okay,
at the risk of further confusing you and others...
here is a diagram for wiring your lights.
disregard the wire colors on the diagram as i would bet they are different then the wires in your kit. The concept is all there. I would also advise to run a good solid ground FROM the lights back to the battery. This diagram does not do that. It ties just to a good body ground which is fine for H3 55 watts lights, but I would do that, others might not and not a priority. Anything larger then you should run a solid ground to the battery, just safer.
I added the 87a terminal on your relay, as i suspect there are five posts on the relay you have and not 4 as this diagram originally showed.
study this and compare it to the one you have and translate the wire colors you have. IF you still have questions, ask. now is the time. not when your local fire department is standing there with a booster line saying "Have any idea how this happened?"
Good luck and enjoy the lights AND the knowlage and pride you have gained from installing the correctly.
P.S. once you learn how to do it, this WILL NOT be your last set of lights.
Evidence:
