Need Some Advice (Its about a Stalker)

stumpjumper_09 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:30 am

Daspes has the right idea. If you complain enough to the paster you could get her banned of church.

STINGN · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:55 am

Inc wrote:

Tell her you're into dudes.

chicks dig those guys, then they can talk to them about anything..my buddy said the same thing to a girl and she was like I always wanted a guy friend that understood me

omGoddard · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:56 pm

Before I can say what to do, you need to post a picture of this chick.

callaway · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:57 pm

stumpjumper_09 wrote:

Daspes has the right idea. If you complain enough to the paster you could get her banned of church.

dirtykj · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:23 pm

I agree with the "make yourself unattractive to her" approach. She obviously sees something in you that she finds attractive.

You have to get rid of those traits.

lil black liberty · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:54 pm

Thanks for the advice so far guys keep it coming.. Durangotang.. I have directly told her that I would not ever date her, I didn't like her anything more than a friend if even as a friend and not to call my phone again after 10 pm. She called my phone one night and left 10 messages... it was almost as bad as Herbert off Family Guy (You Like Popsicles?, I got some in my basement..)

HoosierJeeper · **Joined:** Sun Feb 15, 2009 8:23 am **Posts:** 1218

Put up No Trespassing signs....and Beware of Dog signs.

Or to a different church...if that's an option.

If the above fails, I agree with the un attractive approach... :lol:

lil black liberty · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:03 pm

Okay to quiet the masses here:

A: She is not pretty and I hate to say that about anybody but it's the truth, it's like wanting to kiss your cousin that was inbred with your nephew.. Yeah..
:lol:

B: I can't put up any signs :lol:

as I do not have a fence, also I have 4 dogs but unfortunately they are in the backyard not the front :twisted:

C: I will not ever openly nor closed closetly admit I was lame even just joking about saying im lame gives me chills.... :shock:

D: I can't go to a different church because this was my church first so she can leave, she only started coming because her daughter had a hole in her heart.. :shock:

E: Not a bad idea on the unattractive approach.. maybe I should just not bathe for a month... hmm

Budke · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:27 pm

Talk to her and find out what she likes in you, and then do the complete opposite of that.

Tokyojoe · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:44 pm

Tell her you have sided with the Devil and you are his new messenger.

or

You just got back from the doctor and the results say you are HIV+

or

tell her you like barn animals......you really like barn animals. :twisted:

Seriously,

Be careful with someone that stalks. Keep an eye on your mail, look for changes to see if anything is missing (even just your weekly coupon/flyers or looks like it had been opened. Alarm system!

Xodius · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:06 pm

Sadly, it is nothing to joke about. I had a stalker in college and it was...interesting perhaps. Granted I can look back and laugh about it but at the time I was like, Leave me the f alone! I had to totally change myself. It was hard to get used to but it worked. I changed friends, eat habits, work out habits, classes the whole 9 yards. If it were to happen to me today...it would be different. One thing that is always troubling is that you never know how stable these people are. If you go to talk to her make sure that you have a friend(s) with you. It sounds easy to just explain how you feel but if they are stalking generally they do not understand that they are or like you said they are a few bricks shy of a full load.

Be safe and keep your eyes open. Last thing you want to do is have the nut show up in your bed room with a knife above you. A friend of mine had that. 12 stitches later and several long hours with the police to explain why he had a woman knocked out on the floor and him bleeding all over opened his eyes to just how crazy some people truly are and that he needed to pay a little more attention to his surroundings.

Also a restraining order is not a bad idea...nor is a good handgun.

MikeD0106 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:11 pm

I would not suggest carrying or purchasing a handgun to deal with her. That will usually only lead to something bad, for her and you. Maybe something less lethal such as a taser (always fun) or pepper spray. Just be sure you know when to use it. Driving by and calling wouldn't really be good reasons. If she's trying to force her way on top of you or into your home/car then that's another story.

If there is no relationship an order of protection may not be possible (varies in each state), but there is probably something like an injunction against harassment which is pretty much the same exact thing just doesn't involve a relationship. You would have to contact your local court to find out more.

linewarbr · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:26 pm

Dude, not to make light of your situation here, but. . .

MAN UP, GROW A SET, GET YOUR BEST BUD AND GO TELL HER TO STOP STALKING YOU.

A restraining order/ injunction against harassment will be ineffective since they do not keep her away, they only provide punishment if she comes near. Byu that time the damage may be done.

I tend to agree with Durangotang on this one. Examine yourself and make sure that you do not, in some way deep down, want her attention. That means NOT making eye contact or any other acknowledgement of her presence at church, banning her from your facebook page, and avoiding any location where she is or immediately leaving if you see her. That means NOT BEING FRIENDLY AND GIVING HER THE INTIMATION OF AN IDEA THAT YOU MAY BE INTERESTED.

It's not important to know why she is stalking you - that shows you are in some way feeding off of her attention. JUST MAKE IT SUPER-PLAIN and leave it alone. If she's just a cougar after a young dude, she'll move on to another stalk. If she truly has some kind of thing with you, then it is time to consider a protective measure.

But if you have never looked this chick in the eye, with a male friend as a witness, and told her "NO!" then you only have yourself to blame.

KJ 119 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:38 pm

Am I the only guy here that thinks you should just do her and get it over with?
Nothing else seems to be working.

I'm with omGoddard,lets see what we're advising you on.

tomsjeep · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:52 pm

I'd be really really careful with this gal.
You don'tknow what's going on in her head, you don't know whether or not she's basically harmless and smitten or psychotic and ready to snap.
As was suggested, don't make eye contact, although I'd go one step further and not even acknowledge the space she's in. Just look past her about 20 yards and go on about your life as if she doesn't exist. It's called shunning in some religious communities. And it is highly effective.
Good luck. I'm concerned you may really need it.

KJKev · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:41 pm

Dude...don't ever approach her in person..especially by yourself.
If this chick is that crazy she'll use any personal contact against you once she does go over the line. Don't call her, don't email her..NO CONTACT should be instigated by you.
Any action taken on your part will most certainly attract the attention of the police if anything at all happens to her.

This includes posting your problems on public forums.

Talk to your pastor...then go directly to the cops.
Restraining orders don't work. Unless she physically assaults you a TRO will only piss her off.

change..or ever better...DELETE your Facebook account. At the very least contact Facebook and tell them what's happening. While it's not really their problem they probably won't want any negative advertisement of their site.

Nothing personal dude..but you don't realize how fast things like this can turn against you.

Signed,
Experienced in this area.

lil black liberty · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:46 pm

So far guys great responses thanks alot, I have told her plain and simple and very forceable to leave me the f alone.. even my best bud told her he isn't into you will you just leave him alone and take care of your daughter.. My own mother has told her, my sister, and my father because she thought if she got close to them she would get close to me.. Guys this chick is insane litterally last year she was doing two married men and she got them to fight in the middle of the church.. She is nutzo!! So with all that considered and BTW GUYS.. I will not post a pic because it would just draw more attention and then she would think I was truly in love with that said Psychopath..

Fouros · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:13 pm

Mate

ask her what part of F@@@ Off dont you understand, your not my type, I am not into you , infact if your the last woman on earth my Left/right hand ( depends if your a lefty or a righty ) would be my first choice\

Be forceful and show her in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in the slightest

kskj · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:35 pm

Are you still moving to Texas for school? Sounds like the sooner the better. You need to get away from this crazy woman.

lil black liberty · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:39 pm

KSKJ.. it will be Next Next May before I can go lol.. I kinda decided to get a second associates degree.. my first major.. History Education (eventually teach high school/2 yr-college)... my 2nd major.. Religion (eventually ministry)

Need Some Advice (Its about a Stalker)

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