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| how the fight started! http://www.lostjeeps.com/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=36551 |
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| Author: | 03kjsport [ Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | how the fight started! |
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace > > expensive...so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight > > started.... > > > > > > ****************************** > > > > I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. > > Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. > > I told her the beer > > would make her look better at night than the cold cream. > > And that's when the fight started. > > > > > > ********************************* > > > > After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for > > Social Security. > > The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license > > to verify my age. > > I looked in my pockets and realized I had > > left my wallet at home. > > I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I > > would have to go home and come back later. > > The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. > > So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. > > She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' > > and she processed my Social Security application. > > When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the > > Social Security office. > > She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten > > disability, too' > > > > And then the fight started..... > > > > ****************************************** > > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. > > I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at > > a nearby table. > > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' > > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand > > she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I > > hear she hasn't been sober since.' > > 'My God!' says my wife, > > 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating > > that long?' > > > > And then the fight started..... > > > > ******************************************** > > > > I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road > > and slowly the other driver got out of his car. > > > > You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things > > just seem funny? > > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! > > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT > > HAPPY!!!' > > So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' > > And that's how the fight started..... > > > > ******************************************** > > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. > > 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' > > He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' > > 'Nah, she can order for herself.' > > And that's how the fight started..... |
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| Author: | tommudd [ Tue Oct 07, 2008 12:01 am ] |
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| Author: | David Jr [ Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
My mom just read these so you should be fine. She loved it. |
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| Author: | tan's2002kjlimited [ Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:46 pm ] |
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| Author: | TAHOE [ Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Would you marry again..... |
A Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks THE question..... WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!' WIFE: 'Why not? Don 't you like being married?' HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.' WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?' HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.' WIFE: 'You would?' (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?' HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.' WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?' HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?' WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?' HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.' WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?' HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to Do WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?' HUSBAND : 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.' WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing with you? HUSBAND: 'Yes, those are always good times.' WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs? HUSBAND: 'No, she's left-handed.' WIFE: ----- silence ------ HUSBAND: "S@*t." |
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| Author: | 03kjsport [ Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
thats funny. |
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| Author: | cluelessklewer [ Tue Oct 07, 2008 11:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
NICE!!!! (03 & tahoe)... that just made my bad day much better |
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