Heh - It may be that the purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.

Pretty much, if it can go sideways on a vehicle... I've probably done it. My family all drives a LOT, and I've become the de-facto mechanic (Oh, goody) so I get to deal with a lot of this crap. I'm surprised that you had 2 Ford transmissions die on you, those are solid units (at least the AOD was) for me, but then again, I had an AXOD on my 95 Taurus eat itself right at 80k miles, right on schedule for the design.
For Chrysler transmissions, especially in FWD vehicles... I learned a great deal about the problems with a FWD system: They overheat. A LOT. MY 94 T&C minivan ate 3 transmissions at just about 40k miles EACH before we got the LOVELY Chrysler design flaw fixed: Cut out the factory radiator heat-installer and put in an external transmission cooler in front of the radiator. The van now has 230k miles on it, with the same transmission from 120k.