And since I can't sleep I find dumb cute jokes to make me laugh
why is it 3:42 in the AM,
what time did I tell John to be ready??
so on with tonight's monologue
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with
the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're
too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
drum beat
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but Mother says I'm not."
Ever notice how a 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adult
voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm
hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning.
As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children
in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm.
I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children and explained that it was
O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was
expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night.
They said OK.
After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children
picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time.
Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to
wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks
waiting for their arriving passengers.
As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running
shouting,
"Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"
As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
Alex shouted,
"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!"
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area
looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of
the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom
was.
Hey baby I hear the blues a'callin'
Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs
And maybe I seem a bit confused
Well, maybe, but I got you pegged
But I don't know what to do with those
Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs
They're callin' again
they're calling again
Good Night Ohio