Well, so I though about this for a while, and decided that of coarse I'm hitting a valve when I try to rotate it with the belt off. So, I asked Master Geordi, and he said that I should be able to rotate it if I have the cams one increment clockwise of pinned. So I tried that, and it was still bound. I fooled around with it in a few other positions, and walked away in defeat, prepared to tear into it. Then, I decided to take it back to the pinned position again, and mess with it around there one last time. Not sure exactly where I was, but I wasn't "feeling" the valves now, but something else, and I got lucky. I was applying a little bit of pressure, wondering if it was the carbon that another member ran into, and subsequently ended up taking the head off! So, I didn't want to take it apart, when I was pretty sure that the guy I got it from had assembled it correctly (he had lots of experience with VW diesels), and I was seriously giving it my last shot, I think, and I felt a little crunch! And, it moved smoothly like it should. I rotated it around, timed it, put the cam gears on backwards in my excitement, took it apart, timed it again
Tried to start, bad starter

Replaced starter, he had drained fuel completely out of system and hadn't been run in two years. Lots of cranking, a can of diesel under the hood later, and bam, she finally took. Runs like a top!
Lesson learned, no need to tear it down for a piece of carbon. Just crush it like the engine would if it was running...
Thanks for all of the advice on this one everyone!
