02 Liberty Wedge:

KW AV8R · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:50 pm

I, as one of those with a vested interest in a specific branch, find all four "oaths of enlistment" absolutely hilarious. Now, if I could only find the Department of Transportation ... er ... I mean ... Coast Guard "oath of enlistment" :wink:

Liberator · **Joined:** Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:42 am **Posts:** 397

Y u homies gots to make funnies o me?

I jest want a wedgie and sum blu o whyte lites.

:lol:

pokefan · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:10 pm

KW AV8R wrote:

I, as one of those with a vested interest in a specific branch, find all four "oaths of enlistment" absolutely hilarious. Now, if I could only find the Department of Transportation ... er ... I mean ... Coast Guard "oath of enlistment" :wink:

Ask and ye shall receive....

U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH
" I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that at least twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small yachts during the worst of natures storms, and receive no thanks or notice form the public. I will fly in helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber then rocks, and then be heckled by the same people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later.! I will prevent thousands of gallons of pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won't allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean. I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless. I will come in contact with so many pollutants during my tenure, I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to myself as "salty" because of it. I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD.

____________________
Signature
____________________
Date

pokefan · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:52 pm

Apparently I've offended some people with my Oath of Enlistment posts.

If there is any one else that took offense I apologize. I appreciate everyone that has served and sacrificed their time and lives for our country.

I thought I made it clear in my first couple post that I too served in the Marine Corps and it was just in good fun. I guess that wasn't the case. Again, if I offended any of you I am sorry.

htkrph · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:03 pm

pokefan wrote:

Apparently I've offended some people with my Oath of Enlistment posts.

If there is any one else that took offense I apologize. I appreciate everyone that has served and sacrificed their time and lives for our country.

I thought I made it clear in my first couple post that I too served in the Marine Corps and it was just in good fun. I guess that wasn't the case. Again, if I offended any of you I am sorry.

you have offended my sense of humor cause i dont know which one is funnier. cause all of them are true! i'm the navy. lol i take offense to the name tag in the pants thing... marines have it too!!! in their BDU's! and there is reason for the name tape in the back! lol. i have friends in the USAF, family in the USCG, co workers in the USMC and some other friends in the USA its all in good clean fun! get thick skin.

Sir Sam · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:20 pm

pokefan wrote:

Apparently I've offended some people with my Oath of Enlistment posts.

If there is any one else that took offense I apologize. I appreciate everyone that has served and sacrificed their time and lives for our country.

I thought I made it clear in my first couple post that I too served in the Marine Corps and it was just in good fun. I guess that wasn't the case. Again, if I offended any of you I am sorry.

Obviously if anyone has a big enough stick up their butt that they got offended by those they clearly shouldn't come to lost. Chances are they are only going to get butt-hurt again. :roll:

tjkj2002 · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:26 pm

pokefan wrote:

Apparently I've offended some people with my Oath of Enlistment posts.

If there is any one else that took offense I apologize. I appreciate everyone that has served and sacrificed their time and lives for our country.

I thought I made it clear in my first couple post that I too served in the Marine Corps and it was just in good fun. I guess that wasn't the case. Again, if I offended any of you I am sorry.

Offended? Heck no,about spit my beer all over my key board :lol:

.

Now you need to do one for the Marines,since you are one,as I am also,would like to live that moment again :wink:

.

Khaki-KJ · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:32 pm

Sir Sam wrote:

Obviously if anyone has a big enough stick up their butt that they got offended by those they clearly shouldn't come to lost. Chances are they are only going to get butt-hurt again. :roll:

A very eloquent, straight to the point response Sir Sam, well done!

KW AV8R · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:38 pm

tjkj2002 wrote:

Now you need to do one for the Marines,since you are one,as I am also,would like to live that moment again :wink:

.

Troy, you are being a typical Marine today ... thought we had worked that out of you during your stay in the Army. Guess not. Being a typical Army soldier, I will point your Marine arse in the right direction ... Page 1, 9th post. :wink:

And to make it even easier for you ....

pokefan wrote:

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (have someone recite your name for you), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt...cammies.... ugh...Air Force women....HOORAH! So Help Me CORPS!

X____________________ Thumb Print _____________________ Date

tjkj2002 · **Posted:** Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:51 pm

KW AV8R wrote:

tjkj2002 wrote:

Now you need to do one for the Marines,since you are one,as I am also,would like to live that moment again :wink:

.

Troy, you are being a typical Marine today ... thought we had worked that out of you during your stay in the Army. Guess not. Being a typical Army soldier, I will point your Marine arse in the right direction ... Page 1, 9th post. :wink:

And to make it even easier for you ....

pokefan wrote:

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (have someone recite your name for you), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt...cammies.... ugh...Air Force women....HOORAH! So Help Me CORPS!

X____________________ Thumb Print _____________________ Date

That ain't it :wink:

,That's to long :lol:

(plus there's no mention of heavy cosumtion of beer,pretty much the whole statement along with shoot everything in sight).

You do know that when I was atice duty Marines we had a test every year in which we actually got 1 point for putting our name on the dang test :mrgreen:

pokefan · **Posted:** Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:40 am

KW AV8R wrote:

Troy, you are being a typical Marine today ... thought we had worked that out of you during your stay in the Army. Guess not. Being a typical Army soldier, I will point your Marine arse in the right direction ... Page 1, 9th post. :wink:

And to make it even easier for you ....

Way to go Troy, make the rest of us look bad. I guess that's why you moved on to the other side... :wink:

pokefan · **Posted:** Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:41 am

tjkj2002 wrote:

You do know that when I was atice duty Marines we had a test every year in which we actually got 1 point for putting our name on the dang test :mrgreen:

LMAO! Did you really have to share this with everyone! :lol:

MtnRunner · **Joined:** Wed May 28, 2008 8:32 pm **Posts:** 89

pokefan wrote:

well in that case, I'd hate to leave any one out...

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my

life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise

to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for

that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the

point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently

busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!

______________________ Signature ______________________ Date

haha, pretty accurate. of course scuttlebutt is also a another term for "rumor"'.

Long live the Navy. USS Wasp represent!

htkrph · **Posted:** Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:36 pm

MtnRunner wrote:

pokefan wrote:

well in that case, I'd hate to leave any one out...

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my

life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise

to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for

that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the

point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently

busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!

______________________ Signature ______________________ Date

haha, pretty accurate. of course scuttlebutt is also a another term for "rumor"'.

Long live the Navy. USS Wasp represent!

USS Wasp... i will be going on deployment with the Wasp. I will see you there!

nosnorb_808 · **Posted:** Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:08 pm

This is exactly what I expected when I said "Atleast he didnt say what branch". Hilarious stuff guys. :lol:

It was left out in the Army oath that we will answere everything with Hooah!

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