Some thoughts. . .

linewarbr · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 10:45 am

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check
your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself
to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by
randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know
how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or
FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the %$#% was going on when I first
saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the
right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it.

How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish
a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to
say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I
hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile
is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red
Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going
to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me
if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.
It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.
Will we still be friends after this?'

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
and the USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't
already told me but that I have learned from some light internet
stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then
I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I
find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the
fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to
with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cellphone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey
- but I'd bet my booty everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about
it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating
to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.
There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner.

JL Rockies · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 11:33 am

When I was younger I worked for a small electronics firm dedicated to making the world safe for democracy. We innovated a lot of products for law enforcement that made catching bad guys more efficient and safer for the public and the officers.

The was a crime wave going on in Miami that was making national news back in the early 90's which seemed to only impact German tourists getting lost in the various ghettos (they were getting murdered and robbed). FL passed a law barring rent-a-car places from placing any badging onto their cars in hope of curbing tourists being identified by the local ne'er-do-wells. Germans however just don't blend so the murders continued.

We started working with the local rent-a-car companies to create a transponder system (gps was only military) that would audibly alert the driver when they entered certain known crime areas. We also had to work with the city since we needed to mount solar powered transponders on various bridges, traffic lights and signs. We had a working system ready to go and then certain politcal ne'er-do-well groups put pressure on the city and the project was scratched and the car jackings and murders continued.

The silver lining was it gave rise to an awesome local Alt rock band "Dead German Tourists"... they had a hard time getting booked though. Good times.

linewarbr · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 12:04 pm

My favorite is the one about the ninja.

JL Rockies · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 1:28 pm

http://www.discogs.com/Dead-German-Tourists-Sun-Fun-Guns/release/1779350

bugnout · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 1:34 pm

linewarbr wrote:

Was learning cursive really necessary?

In grade school, I spent long hours working on penmanship, Something no longer a priority in public education. My son had a difficult time when he joined the Navy because no one could read his hand writting. They made him print everything so it would be legible.

I doubt we will ever achieve the paperless society.

My favorite was rooting for the Chinese athletes...
:jester:

JL Rockies · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 1:55 pm

My 13yr old Godson has been a straight A student his whole scholastic career and is in all AP classes. He only knows how to print and he's getting a "B" in English this year because his teacher won't accept it.

stoutdog · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 2:10 pm

JL Rockies wrote:

My 13yr old Godson has been a straight A student his whould scholastic career and is in all AP classes. He only knows how to print and he's getting a "B" in English this year because his teacher won't accept it.

That's insane!

I hated cursive. They taught it to us in 7th grade and forced us to use it in 8th, but when we got to high school nobody required us to write in cursive anymore so most folks went back to print.

Funny story: When I took the SAT, they required you to write out the anti-cheating statement IN CURSIVE and then sign it. The proctor for the exam had to delay the start by almost 15 minutes because most of us were trying to remember how the heck to write in cursive. I just made it really sloppy and prayed for the best. :roll:

JL Rockies · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 3:00 pm

We weren't allowed to print beyond 3rd grade... I went to private school though so it was different then the DMV style schools.

HoosierJeeper · **Joined:** Sun Feb 15, 2009 8:23 am **Posts:** 1218

I really don't write in cursive or print..... :ALONE:

tommudd · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 4:52 pm

My grandmother made me sit and write cursive for hours it seemed. But to this day people tell me how good my handwriting is. Actually helped me get a couple of positions.
When I was hiring people for executive type positions, if I couldn't read what people had wrote out the resume, it went in file 13. I mean everyone should be able to write their name and have others know what it says. :roll:

bugnout · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 4:53 pm

I couldn't live without it. I take reams of notes and rarely transcribe to the computer, just don't have time.

Tried taking notes on a Palm device using the stylus, couldn't get anywhere near the speed of manually, tried taking notes directly to the computer, I am a touch typist and can manage about 30 words per minute. Its not only slower, but its intrusive as it doesn't look like your listening anymore.

And printing ... Writing in cursive is so much faster than printing block letters. Printing would slow my note-taking to a crawl. The only faster way I know of to take notes is short hand, which is a form of cursive writing.

Ok now I'm going to apologize for hijacking this thread.

JeepinJarhead03 · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 4:59 pm

had the same english teacher for 9th and 10th grade, and she was one of those who was basically a english prep teacher for college, not that it really helped.. kidding aside it probably did

most of her assignments were 10+ page essays required to be hand written in cursive

after i turned in my first assignment, she told me to Never, Ever turn in a hand written assignment again

so i got lucky and was allowed to type the rest of my assignments for her and she forwarded the instructions to the rest of my teachers in high school as well lol

I have perfect standard penmanship from all the drafting classes i took, just don't ask me to write anything in cursive

only I can read it, it's on the level of a doctors prescription plus some shorthand

warp2diesel · **Posted:** Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:21 pm

I like to tell Engineers who don't grasp the concept of gravity, that the Gravity Tax has not been passed yet, so gravity is still free. Therefore they should design systems that take advantage of gravity. :ROTFL:

I hate cursive, I type so others can read it.

Keypunching all that Fortran crap when I was an undergrad made it so I still type with one hand, what ever finger is the closest to the key.

When my son wanted a Nintendo, I gave him the choice of a Nintendo or a 22L Rifle that I would provide for him.
He was smart, he had me buy him the Rifle and later he earned the money himself and bought his own Nintendo :idea:

.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2010/10/29/ ... -airports/

Once I got patted down by two Mexican Security Woman when I flew back from Chihuahua, Mexico.
I sent an email to Michael Regan to make him jealous.

Some thoughts. . .

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